When all else fails, just be happy.

There are things in life that you go through that you don't understand, that are painful and you have a time of feeling lost.... then there are things you go through that are tough but you can face them with the biggest smile on your face and say "BRING IT"....

The latter of those two times have been upon me. I never thought I would ever have to witness someone I love blatantly hurting me and doing so in a way that could have easily sent me down a very dark path of self doubt and pain. But at the moment of enlightenment, I felt just that.... enlightened. I felt like I knew the truth finally and was able to move on. That doesn't take the pain away, that doesn't take the anger of someone hurting me or not being able to face it themselves..... but it simply allows me to be where I am today: HAPPY.

Yes. I said it.

I am HAPPY. Completely and utterly Happy.

I honestly haven't been this happy in a long time. I thank my Jesus for ever second I have a smile on my face, because I know it's from Him and Him alone. He sent angels my way that night and they haven't left my side. Not only that, but people have been praying for me and encouraging me in ways that blow my mind.... I knew I was loved and cared for before but my Jesus just sent an army to my side to let me know that not only does He have me in the palm of His hands but his army of believers that love me are right there next to me standing at attention, ready to fight. It is an amazing feeling. Truly awe inspiring.

Over the past two weeks I have been reminded of the simple joys in life, of how laughter really is the best medicine, and how God has a plan.... it may be some really odd way of doing things, but His plan will succeed and truly Glorify Him.

I truly have angels in my life right now and I am soooooo very happy they spread their wings over me when they did. I look forward to each day because I know it will bring some sort of hope and laughter, and to be honest, it had been a while where a day brought pure joy.


I believe that times in our lives happen for reasons, people come in and out of your life to show us things about ourselves.... As we go through this journey in life, I want to be able to look back and be thankful for His gifts and hold my head high and know that it all happened for a reason. All the tears, all the laughter, all the fond memories of people I cared for.... everything.
Joy is a gift that must be cherished, laughter is forever stamped onto our hearts, and the heartaches we face will only be a reminder of how good that joy is.... heartaches lead us to the joys in life. Crazy huh?

Go Ahead and Tell Me

Fine, I know you are all dying to say it, that oh so spiteful phrase that you throw at someone once they've done wrong and you tried to tell them: 'I told you so'.

Mr. Ely. Oh Mr. Ely. How he has proven to be the child that I didn't want him to be. How he has proven to be the most untrustworthy and dispicable person I know. And to think, I looked for the good in him.

But through all of this, I am so happy to have found the love of friends. For the light I have found and the protection I have found through this. Sometimes you have to go through things to realize the full meaning of the little details you didn't really see.

I am at peace but definately heart broken.

Please keep me in your prayers and praise be to my Savior for His EVERLASTING, UNWAIVERING, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

"Love takes the patience of Job, that's what my momma always said"

I've tried and tried to analyze things, to find blame in myself for the way things fell through.... After about a month of it, I just cannot do it. I cannot wrap my head around people whom claim they love me and would always be there for me to just walk out on me and leave a huge knife in my back.
Do not get me wrong, there were things I could have said or shouldnt' have said, but I fought for months to talk face to face, told people over and over again how much I loved them and tried to give people an opportunity to talk and for me to listen.
So with that being said in a very honest and to the point way, I must say that I have learned so much.
I have learned that the blessings of today should be counted before they walk away.
I have learned that people no matter how much you care for them or would do anything for them, sometimes people are seasons in your life.

I have learned that a broken heart that I've felt at the end of a breakup is not just reserved for breaking up with boyfriends.
I have learned that sometimes this road I'm on takes some curves without warning signs so in order to still stay on the road, I must look at the towards my Compass a bit more.
I have learned about the truth in love.... the truth in the love of my family, those friends that have been there forever, and truth in the love I have with Mr. Ely.

I have learned that sometimes standing alone does not mean not having people in your life, but knowing that (with the patience of Job) I will be okay.


By no means have I learned all there is to learn from this crazy time in my life, but I am finally to a point to where my anger does not blur my eyes, that the tears are healing, and that I don't try to hide alone anymore. This doesn't mean that the pain is gone of losing those people whom I care about so deeply, but the pain is fading. Not to say it doesn't come up and bite me in the but at times, but it is slowly going away. I think about it daily, I rearranged and decorated my house so I did not have to daily look at what once was.... but its strange.

Maybe one day things will be back to normal or on a steady smooth straight away, but until then, I'm becoming quite at hugging the curves thrown my way. Maybe one day I'll be professional at handling heartbreak so it won't hurt so bad... who knows.

June is suppose to carry hope. I declare that daily. I declare that His promises and mercies are anew daily and that this month is the beginning of a new chapter. I declare His goodness daily. So I have faith my God will pull through and give me some hope, well continue to give me hope. He has been faithful thus far, I just know my wounds still need nursing and that my God will continue to breath into my lungs so that I can make the full recovery.

(( deep breath ))

Here goes week #3 of June, and week #3 of this chapter that I'm unsure of.