I mean, will someone PLEASE tell me what this means!

Alright, so some things lately have interested me and confused me a lot.....

1. "You need to make yourself more available"

Let's just be honest here... maybe every other girl my age would be perfectly fine with this statment being said to her multiple times, and maybe I am just the odd one, because lets face it... I usually am the person to break all the "Normal" rules of how things are. Lets run through the reasons why this put a bit of a spur in my saddle:

1. The context of this questsion might just not help the actual line out much at all. It always comes when I am speaking of a person of the opposite sex in ANY context. . . and then BAM! It happens. The end all be all. The statement hits the person talking to me like the best apiphany they ever had. The answer to all my problems. Badda Bing Badda Boom. "Darby needs to catch that guy." Ergo Darby hears " You need to make yourself more available for guys."
   For real! Someone tell me what that is suppose to mean? Are they implying I should just throw myself on guys?? I'm sure they aren't and mean it in the best way possbile. . . but it bugs me for a few reasons.... Do they not think that I am doing fine in my singleness? Yes, I would love to not be so single, but at the time, that's not the top of my list to solve. After all the crap I went through in my last relationship, I am in no rush to have the possiblity of getting my heart torn apart again. Plus, I desperately desire to be persuded. To be Wanted. Saught after. And I realize that only happens in the movies or my dreams... but I also do not feel like it is a girls place to pursue a guy. If a guy finds me attractive or wants to see if there is something more in a friendship, I think that he should grow some and do that. Be a man. I'm tired of dating non-mans boys. I do not want to date someone who doens't have the gonads to pursue me. Dumb. So I will just wait. I will wait and have fun with friends, love life, and live the life I should. :)

k. cool.

Blessed

Lately in the midst of being completely overwhelmed by life in general and all the responsibilities I have gotten myself into, I have found an overwhelming sense of joy. I am so blessed. There are friends that I have that I would do anything for, friends old and new that are becoming closer. He is breaking down walls around my heart so that I can be more authentic with those whom I am close to.
In the midst of the craziness of each day, I have yet to find myself feeling lonely or alone in my struggles and victories. I feel like the bonds that are being made are lasting and true. A feeling that scares the crap outta me because usually as soon as I get that feeling, I screw up in some way. But the beauty of the fall of humanity, is that no one is perfect... things happen, but in Christ, in His body, we are all connected, we are all family, eternally. And through His love, we can forgive and love even more than we could imagine so that our friendships are deeper, lasting, and genuine if our friendships are rooted in Him. It's beautiful!!!

Man, He is good.
He has blessed me with an amazing family that I would never EVER trade, friendships that touch my heart and make it smile, new adventures, passions and responsibilities that will shape and define my future, long talks with the best friends ever, the past that has taught me who I am and given me the opportunity to embrace the newness of today, and most of all, His Word to direct my life and dig deep into so that I can know Him more. Gollee! Even through really confusing times, He shows me that He loves me and is in control. It's wonderful.

I am so excited about what this next year holds in my life and the lives of people close to me. Two of my best friends are embarking on the most exciting time in their lives.... MARRIAGE! I am so blessed to be able to be a part in this ohh so exciting time in their lives not only as a friend to help with all the stress of it, but as someone who is watching as two lives join together who are completely and totally in love and who also love the Lord. :) Next year at this time I will know two amazing Mrs. Lairds, one awesome Mrs. Hayes-Vargas, and two boys that have turned into men (( hopefully ;) )). For my life, this next year is full of events and adventures. Between Hospitality and the BSM I get the opportunity to lead in different aspects and venues. This time next year, I will be closing in on my last spring semester here at Texas A&M.... wow. The next 52 weeks will hold excitement, stress, and challenges that I cannot yet comprehend, but I do know that no matter what, He is in control and delights in every detail of my life.

How refreshing!!!!
Praise the Lord, for He is GOOD.