Holes: Well or Vacuum

It has occurred to me often lately that I have been not only blessed by my scars, but taught new lessons by them.

A dear friend of mine when speaking of a recent break-up said "it just feels like there is a hole in me where he was...". It broke my heart to hear her say that because I knew that pain all to familiar. It is a pain that I had no quick bandaid for, no quick solution that would ease her pain... Really, I had nothing that would ease her pain. The only thing I had to tell her was what I had learned through my heartaches, and that was not going to help her pain,in fact, it would probably stab the shards of her broken heart a little deeper... But what I had to tell her was the truth, something I wish more people had told me...
I'm just a horrible friend, huh? I was sitting there willing to hurt my friend more simply to try to let her know a lesson I learned from months of heartache... Not out of selfish ambition, but because I was praying she would hear it one day down the road, when the tears were dry, and she could clearly understand what I was saying.

The fact is, and the truth I told my friend, is that the hole a relationship leaves behind is never one that can or will be filled again... It will always be there. What we have to understand and try to avoid when we try to fill that void, we lose the preciousness that the relationship once was, and we also cause ourselves so much more pain because nothing will ever replace it. Things may come along that make that hole so small it is but a mere pore on the skin, irrelevant and minuscule. But never will something replace that hole.

This isn't something that is too comforting when all you see and feel is a gaping hole in your heart that person left you with, but eventually it is a beautiful lesson to understand about ourselves.
So many times we search for things to replace old relationship, we search for means to cover the hole only to have the flood gates roll through in the first storm. In my journey, I have learned that I must live with the holes for they stand for lessons to be learned, beautiful parts of me that came from them.
Every single relationship leaves a mark on us, some are but dents in our canvas, others, when they leave, initiate a grief and pain from the hemmoraging loss of love it makes us feel like the hole is our whole--- but it is not!
For me, my soul is in the hands of a gracious God who loves me and fills me... But in those moments where the absence of the relationship have overwhelmed me, I felt just as scared and alone as my dear friend did recently.
I never thought I would look from the point of view I do today and be thankful for the hole I see in me from lost love. I have grown to be bigger than that hole and have learned about who I am from all those days I spent questioning the vacancy. Eventually my friend will understand what I said, and she too will be able to see that nothing will replace that love she had, but something may come along that will enlarge your heart so much that it will make the hole seem not so scary, and more like a well of memories she can pull from instead of an empty vacuum.

I'm so thankful that I have grown in love, on my own, and with the help of some special people. I, now, today, can look at my whole heart and be thankful for the vacancies for they gave room for growth and showed my heart what strength it had.