Lord,
Catch my tears in your hand and water my broken soul.
Give me peace. Give me understanding.
Show your love. Show your mercy. Show your grace.

Not worth the Truth

Ain't gonna be no more talking

These Words seem to be just wastin'

I'm just gonna keep on walkin 'til I see that mirror I'm suppose to be facin'.

The road that shapes me is painful and long.

But sometimes I can look in those eyes and know the eyes that are starin back at me are stong.

Strong, by the road that I've been walkin'

Strong, by the pain I've been enduring.

Those eyes look straight through to my heart and soul with all it's scaring.

But the road that I've been walking has made me strong.

The road I keep walking has valleys and it's streams.

But each breath I take seems clean.

It's a lonely road I walk at times.

Only wish I could see the end.

Each time I look up, I pray my heart to mend.

Strong, by the road I've been walkin'

Strong, by the pain I've been enduring.

Those eyes look straight through my heart and soul with all it's scaring.

But the road that I've been walking has made me STRONG.

What to do now?

You all say that I deserve better, you all say that this too shall past... the anger, the pain... you say to let go... it's just not that black and white. Maybe to you, looking on from the outside, but here in the middle of this storm, all colors are running together from the tears I cry and the wind that is my anger. I wish I could be as strong as you want me to be, to just be okay, to not want to run away anymore, but the painful truth is that I am not that strong. There are people and my God that are holding me up right now but there are times that I fight it because that means I'm weak....

I know I didn't deserve this, but it would be easier to know that I did so that I could make ME better....

This road I am on... it is ragged. It's already knocked the shoes off my feet, now it's blistering my skin. This road I am on seems to dead end signs all around it with no detour. This road I am on is the scariest place I have ever been.

Don't pity me.

Don't try to make me better.

Don't tell me my GPS screwed me up and lead me astray, and don't tell me there is someone out there that won't hurt me like this.... because at this point, there is no one that could handle my scars, my pain, and my hurt... nor would I ask anyone to do that.

Don't tell me it's going to be okay, just cry with me.

Don't avoid me for the truth you may hear me say.

Don't put him down, that doesn't help me... because I'm the one who loved him. I'm the one who has to look at my past and see the lies....