Moments

Think about a time in your life, a moment really, that completely altered your life....

... The moment you realize the truth and reality of Jesus
... The first time you talk to your grandparents and truly hear them
... The first time you hear your parents say they are proud of you and it sinks in
... Your first love
... The first concert you see
... Meeting your favorite artist and feeling like a kid
... The first time your heart breaks because of a friend
... The moment when you are surrounded by friends and almost cry because the rush of love surrounds you like a flood and you realize every moment that led to this one was worth it
... The moment you tell someone you love them after weeks of holding it in
... Having someone tell you what you should do and actually listening

Our lives are made up of those kinda moments. We dont always realize that they alter the path you walk on, but when you do those moments stay in a special place in your heart.

Lately I've had an abundance of these moments and just want to soak it all in. I want to make sure I never forget the way I felt in each of those moments so that I do not stray from directions those moments have pushed me.
I am so blessed in my life right now.
I never knew things could have such a mix of good and bad while still being so overwhelmingly beautiful.

I guess I just want to remind all of us that we have moments we should never forget, good and bad, and we should never forget the way we felt in that moment so that we not only can be thankful for it each day, but so we continue to grow from it.

Close call

Ever have a moment where it feels exactly like one of the worst moments in your life, so you prepare for all of hell to break loose, the fit to hit the shan, and the good feeling pretty much goes down the drain and away forever?

Yeah. 

Those moments suck. 

But there are always two ways to turn, surprisingly, it doesn't always have to end up in disaster. 

The lesson here in life is the fact that sometimes you will run into times that feel like the 'way it use to be', but just because that feeling happens does not mean that the end outcome is going to be like the past.  People are different and no matter how much we as humans class everyone to be the same deep down, some people surprise you. 

I've been surprised a lot by people, a certain person in particular. Then something happened and I put that person right back in the pit of 'all the rest of them'... and then something better happened... they proved that despite being a human and genetically in the "pit of all the rest of them"... and he had redeeming qualities that allowed me to be able to trust that goodness that I had been encompassed in by his presence in my life. 

Not only did a relationship grow deeper, but my belief in the goodness in people was, for once, not shoved into the ground and spat on. 

The past does have a tendency to repeat itself if you never change the pattern you walk in.. then the past still can creep up on you, but you have the courage to make a change somewhere along the way in you... sometimes the past can rise up to teach you a lesson about yourself and help the future blossom.  

BAM

You ever have someone say something to you that it felt like they were slapping you in the face? Not in a insulting way, but in a way that should have been done long before that moment to get your thinking straight. The kind of slap in the face that mostly feels like the cold splash of water on your face when your body is trying to sleep but you need to get up and get moving; uncomfortable yet necessary.

You ever get that slap from someone you are trying to tell your "problems" to someone that you feel like you have the right to tell because you've been through a lot and have dealt with a lot, then they look at you and tell you things they are dealing with... SLAP.  Bing. Bang. Boom. They make you feel like a queen in their third world country that you just pranced in complaining about the weather when they are there drenched in sweat with a smile on their face and wanting to serve you.... SLAP.

So how does that slap become refreshing?
Everyone needs a wake up call in the midst of self pity. 

"Much worse things have happened to much better people"

All of this to say, I am thankful for the slaps in the face I got last night from a guy who no matter his dispositions he has faced and is facing has made me smile every single day I have been around him... There are people that come into our lives and bless us in ways that we never had on our radar.

I have a group of those blessings all around me constantly.  I am blessed beyond belief. I have the strength to face tomorrow's battles because all that happened yesterday is done and there isn't a thing I can do about it.  I am blessed by each individual in my life, whether they are a stranger I get my lunch from, or the friends I have that will last a lifetime. . . they each have a reason for being put there at a particular moment. 

Some issues I have faced lately have taken me pretty low, but the coolest thing in the world is whenever I got over myself to look up... they were all there with smiles and hands reaching out to help me up.
 I literally felt like an avalanche of love and friendship has come over me to crush all the scars and welps from my past, from my mistakes, and from my stupidity. Not to mention the encouragment they give me every day by simply giving me reasons to laugh and smile.

I have been blessed.  I have been pretty happy in the last few months... but right now, happy doesn't cover it.  The raging SLAP in the face I needed woke me up to the rush of true joy I have and was burying under my frustrations and self pity. 

So to those of you who are in my life, thank you.  I love you so much.   I love you for being by my side when I was an idiot, I love you for being by my side when I was celebrating victories from not being stupid.  I love you for making me smile, whether it be every day, or the moments I get to see you, or for when you don't even know it when I think of you...  I love you for making me laugh, because laughing is my favorite and cures everything.  I love you for sitting next to me when I was upset, and I love for slapping me when I needed to get off my ass and get moving.  I love you for loving me in each of your special ways that you love me.   I love you, and where ever you may be today, tomorrow, or in 10 years, I will always love you.  You are a beautiful part of my life, big or small, it's all the same.  You make up this smile on my face.



So from this point forward, the little things will eclipse the stupid things my brain is telling me are big and problematic.  It's the little things that make this life beauitful, the things you don't expect...