A call to DO

So tonight a few things hit me that I’d like to share:

1. We as a generation today claim to be on the “brink” of a revolution… We have songs that sing about how we are the generation that seeks, the generation that is feeling something great… All good things.. but honestly, all I see are people singing those things and not really living it. I fall into this as well, so this is not “judgment” on my fellow brothers and sister. I just don’t understand what we are waiting for, why are we just praying about change and a revolutionary different Christian.. .why aren’t we DOING it!? It doesn’t take much, it won’t take much. . . to sell out to Jesus in all we do and actually love like He loved… that’s all. That right there would change the face of Christianity completely, us just LOVING others. I am reading a book right now called “Do Hard Things” and it is just reiterating this idea that has been burning in my heart… We want to be the generation that does great things for His kingdom, but we aren’t DOING we are just WANTING and there is nothing holding us back other than ourselves.

Like Tonight, at Breakaway, there are atleast a thousand people that go to Breakaway here on campus at A&M and what is there to show for it? When we all gather together and sing about wanting to love like Him and make His name and glory known…. Hundreds of people singing… then we leave and go back to just being us and serving in our own organizations and going to church on Sunday just to sing the same songs again… Am I the only one that has that burning inside of me to really make His kingdom known by RADICALLY doing something for the Lord that reaches my fellow classmates and Americans… a radical movement that is centered around AUTHENTIC love and care for others around me.

Let’s do something, let’s make His name known… not just to the other people that go to Breakaway with us or to church , or that are in our organization… but make HIS NAME KNOWN to the NATIONs… How? To love like Christ, to give it all and not look back, to have a SELFLESS faith… let’s do it… are ya with me?

2. I am so blessed. I am blessed for no reason. There is not one thing I can tell you that would give me a reason to be blessed. I am all that is human and all that is broken in this world, but the Creator of the Universe thought that I was worth it to DIE for so that I may be forgiven and have ETERNITY with HIM… WOW!!!! This joy that I am experiencing in life is simply from above, from my Savior, my sweet sweet Jesus who loves me… who gives me the gift of knowning Him in an intimate way so that I may shine for Him. I mean, that’s the only reason I am here … my only goal. I don’t live that all the time, I sometimes forget that my plans my ideas of how things are “suppose” to be are junk compared to His plan. I am so excited about what He has for my life, what He is going to do with me… with my life. I just pray that I am continually walking with Him because then, and only then, will my life be as abundant as He had planned…

I love being able to look back just 6 months or 9 months and see where He has lead me. 6 months ago I never would have been able to tell you what He was doing in my life and would not have been able to look you in the eye and say that I was at peace with Him. Nine months ago I was living in a world that I wanted, that I thought was best, and that “fit” the ideal that I wanted… nothing close to what He wanted or had for me. I cheated myself out of that because I held onto myself instead of dying to it and living for Him. I would have told you that I wished I knew what it felt like to be involved and have a group of friends that encouraged me in the Word and loved like Christ… but I hid from that and did everything I could to avoid that because that meant I had to confess to myself that all I had to do was to let go…. But the coolest thing about Father God is that He will let us do stupid stuff… kinda like Jonah… he let Jonah go the other way… but then destroyed his ship, put him in the belly of a giant fish, then made sure he went where he was suppose to go… I feel like God did the same thing with me… ((without the giant fish/boat wreck thing…)) I knew where and what I was suppose to be doing a year ago, but ran fast in the opposite direction, until God so lovingly wrecked my life and the plans I had for me and took me into His will and carried me to the place I should have been all along. And just like Jonah, I am rejoicing in the Lord and now will follow Him where ever He leads.

Also, I think it is so beautiful that I am praising the Lord for the trials and the wreck that I was in… if it were not for those heartbreaks, those times where I had to look up to see rock bottom, those times where I was so lost and had no idea what was going on, those times where I physically hurt due to my heart, those times where I was angry at my circumstances… I am so GLAD for those times… why? Just look at me… I would not be there if it were not for those thing… I wouldn’t know the tender healing touch of my Savior the way I do, I would not LONG for His presence daily in my life… I would not genuinely YEARN for His guidance and direction as I do this day. . . Praise His Holy name, for He knows what is best, He loves me, and He knew what He was doin all along, and despite my anger and doubt, He was faithful and always will be faithful to lead me to Him.

WOW!!!

3. The last thing is that I am so glad that I have found friends that love love love the Lord and aren’t afraid of it… and also aren’t too good for school. Fellowship with believers is huge, friendship and relationships are what His love and His will is about in a way… I mean, Jesus didn’t do it alone, he had the 12 with him to share things to and to show what camaraderie was about. God has blessed me with some new friendships that I pray He will grow and be faithful to provide accountability and Christ like bonds.

Sufficient.... that's huge!!

So wow!
Can I just reiterate the fact that our God is SO GOOD! He is faithful to provide for His children, to be there, to love on us better than we could imagine, and He is SUFFICIENT! My soul has overflowed with the joy that alone has brought me. You have no idea! I mean there are moments where I find myself forgetting how true those statments are and that I am not alone... the Deceiver knows the ways to break me down... knows the lies to whisper to my head... and it gets annoying!! There are days where I listen, and days that I laugh in his face... but all in all... it is so good to know that He is there, the Lord is faithful and that He has something great in store for me in His will! :)
Everything rides on faith and hope in Him. I find that I am so blessed and thankful for my circumstance because He has become my love, my desire, my life... and it is so beautiful! I am so thankful to know Him in the intimate ways that I do today, and I am so thankful to know how good it is to be under His wings.
God is showing me new things every day. New reasons to praise Him, new things to seek guidence in, new things to get excited about and pray about... His life is a good life. It may not be the easiest, but it is so good. It would be so easy for me to go out, find a boyfriend and find that satisfaction from a guy and his attention, it would be easy to be upset about not having a boyfriend and think that I am all alone and that life sucks because I don't have a boyfriend... but you see... all of that is not true. Life is good, boy or no boy... and God is sufficient PERIOD! I may sit at home and watch movies alone, or want to dress up... but all in it's own time. He has a plan. He has someone out there fore me, and whoever that is I hope that He knows the satisfaction of Him alone... and if not, I really would rather not meet him until he gets to that point... for real.

((God is showing me something and working on me in my life in that area... it's kinda cool. ))

I just want to also add that I am so blessed to have a friend like I do. I have a friend that loves me but not just in the way that friends care about each other, but the way a sister in Christ cares about her other sister. She realizes what life is and isnt' about and it is such a breath of fresh air to sit and talk with her. I think and pray that I have found a lasting friendship that is based on our common ground, Christ. ... :)

I hope your day is great, and that God will show you something great and new about Himself today. Pray for me that He will continue to guide me in the direction of His will and that I will surrender myself to His plan completely. Pray that He will open doors for me and that I will have the knowlege and wisdom to go through them. And pray also that in EVERYTHING I do I glorify Him.

Thank you! :)

Who knows....

Mandisa
God Speaking lyrics

Have you ever heard a love song that
Set your spirit free
Have you ever watched a sunrise and
Felt you could not breathe
What if it's Him
What if it's God speaking

Have you ever cried a tear that
You could not explain
Have you ever met a stranger
Who already knew your name
What if it's Him
What if it's God speaking

Who knows how He'll get a hold of us
Get our attention to prove He is enough
He'll do and He'll use
Whatever He wants to
To tell us "I love you"

Have you ever lost a loved one
Who you thought should still be here
Do you know what it feels like
To be tangled up in fear
What if He's somehow involved
What if He's speaking through it all

Who knows how He'll get a hold of us
Get our attention to prove He is enough
He'll do and He'll use
Whatever He wants to
To tell us "I love you"

His ways are higher
His ways are better
Though sometimes strange
What could be stranger
Than God in a manger

Who knows how He'll get a hold of us
Get our attention to prove He is enough
Who knows how He'll get a hold of you
Get your attention to prove He is enough
He'll do and He'll use
Whatever He wants to
To tell us "I love you"

God is speaking
"I love you"

Forgiveness

So I felt the need to seek forgiveness from Daniel. I was so bitter towards him and I am ashamed of that. He is a brother in Christ, my brother, a child of the King, just as I.... and I couldn't stand it. I do not want to live that way. I asked for forgiveness. I am praying that he will forgive me.
Life is not always about if we deserve things or not.
God shows you things that you never thought you'd see in your life about yourself through circumstances and lessons that only He knows the true purpose behind.
We should aim at being Christ-like in every step of our lives... that means even when it doesn't make sense, even when it goes against everything you thing is "just", and even you do not want to.
If I just can do that, I know I will be striving for something so much more, and maybe just maybe, someone will see that and ask me about it. I long to share how Christ has moved me and still is and am praying for opportunities to do so.
Love you

Oh November, how I love thee

I absolutely love the month of November... why? No clue. It is the essence of fall, the symbol of changing seasons, and well it's just plain BEAUTIFUL!
I haven't written anything in a while, not because I haven't had anything to write, but that I wanted to deal with things with the Lord, and try to get things straight. I have learned a lot about how He heals a heart and turns life around to show His greatness and glory! Lately I have been so obsessed with His beauty surrounding me everything else doesn't matter. All the things in my life that I wish i could change, that aren't just "perfect" or that others can't shut up about... well I am not really noticing them because I can't get my head around how AWESOME God really is and His beauty that He shows me every morning and how much I DO NOT deserve to see any of it! ((but am very greatful that I get to !)) It seems like as soon as I get frustrated about something, or start thinking about possible negatives in my life, I realize how good things really are. God has lead me to this place in my life where He is loving on me and I am loving Him, where I am being taught by Him in ways that are so majestic and mysterious, this place that I just want to know more, a place where I am so incredibly excited about HIS plan for my life that I seem to not even have one... This place of beauty and joy. Not "happiness", but JOY. Joy is so much deeper than happiness, it bubbles up inside of you and burst out in the form of happiness, or just in the form of contentness in a storm. Joy overcomes the every day bumps that just happiness alone cannot get you, it comes from the peace and clarity of knowing that my God, my Jesus is in control and has a plan for my life, and also that He (the king of the universe) LOVES me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Also something interesting:
He is showing me reasons for the pain that I have felt over the past 4 months.... He is giving me an opportuinty to glorify Him and witness to someone that is going through heartache and heart break. I hate that for this person, but also am so thankful that I can look her in the eyes and say " I understand". My heart breaks all over again for her as I remember the tears and the physical sick feeling of a broken heart.... but I have joy in that because look at where I am now! Look at just what He is doing in my life, look at how He is healing me, i mean just look at this past month! ! ! By no means am I "over it", but boy howdy I am getting there. I don't cry anymore!! (( yes! I said it!! )) The last time I cried over it was 3 weekends ago when I faced the fear of losing my job due to the status of Daniel and I being on "who is that person?" terms.... I cried because I was tired of crying over him, tired of hurting, and ready to be done with it. ! ( YAY ) I am done with it! I have forgiven Daniel and given it to the Lord. I am no longer angry at him nor do I wish evil things on him. (I promise!)
For real, I think I am going great. I have some really awesome friends that make me smile a whole lot, I have a God who is good to me and provides, I have a family that I love and that makes me laugh alot, and above all of that, I am here, breathing, and having the opportunity to do something great for Jesus...
I am ready for whatever life throws at me during this beautiful month. I am hoping that it will be great because i Love this month! and because I am hoping to be on track with where God wants me to be.
November will bring lots of change in my life, and i am not just talking about the leaves on the trees here in college station, I am talking about change. I just really believe that, am praying for that, and am asking you to do the same. Pray that He will continue to rock my world and that I will be obediant to what He wants from me, to not seek things because it is cool or my flesh desires it, but to seek His will and only His will.
I know this was kinda crazy and everywhere, but it's late, and I have been restless (in a good way) for like 3 days... this joy in my soul is spewing! ! !