My Thoughts at the Moment

So I took a step in a direction, took a step and thought that I was lead in that way, that it was something He was giving me. And just like what I had feared, I think it was a step in the wrong direction. I hate that I think HE is giving me an opportunity and find out that it wasn't. Or maybe it was an opportunity to see something else, but right now all I can see is that it was a "failed" attempt. I am moving on in my life, I am not afraid to take opportunities when they present themselves, I am simply afraid of what to do with those opportuinites. And I hate that all I want is the thing I cannot have.
Lord, can I just become a nun? I just want to stay within the confinements of Your love. Nothing else. Boys are stupid. They are simply dumb. I don't understand why you have given me a taste of something great so that when I go taste testing nothing compares, all I want is the thing I knew was right.
Lord, I love you. Can you just speak so clearly to me that I have no doubt that it is You. Lift my spirits. I love you! Can I just go live in Copper Canyon and just love you? Can I just keep you to myself and be selfish? You are the one unfailing thing in my life, the only thing tha will never let me down. Am I alone in wanting to just go be with you? It's not that I don't want to share this love with others, I just don't want to feel like this.... I just want to be with you.

For anyone who reads this, it's just my thoughts at a moment. That's what this blog is for me, a place to write my thoughts. Ask me about them, don't judge my life upon them. And know that I know without a shadow of a doubt that He is in control and has a plan. I have faith in His goodness to His children.