I am Good

For the first time last night I was able to say that I was good. You might think, well... great! But there is something so beautiful in saying that you are doing good when you truely are doing good. I haven't been able to say that I am doing good for months. I hate it when people lie when you ask them how they are, not that if they aren't doing good I want to hear everything that is wrong in their life, but it isn't a horrible thing to say that things are good but you are still living. I have been livin and facing this valley all while saying "I am doing alright", or "that things are going...." because that's how it was. I knew that one day I would be able to say I was good again, but did not have a clue when.
Things happen when you least expect them and (in my case) when I am completely unprepared and nothing like I would want it to. (I just think that is God reminding me that He is in control...) So last night when I was talking to this amazing person and having a conversation about the heart.... we were talking heart to heart.... you just don't get that with everyone. And he isn't just anyone, so having heart to hearts is hard because I am vunerable with the one person who has hurt me the most... but like I said... things happen nothing like I would ever want them to. Not that it was not absolutely amazing or anything. Anyways, I was able to say that I am good (FOR THE FIRST TIME) looking into the eyes that I never thought I'd be able to say that I was anywhere close to good due to the damage done to my heart by his hands. But never-the-less it happened. It was a bitter sweet and joyful moment.

Life..... Wow.
Six months ago I was so confused. I am so thankful of the place I am in right now and the truth I bathe in each day. I hate that He had to shatter my heart to get my attention, but I am pretty stubborn. I am thankful for each moment of each memory I have. I am still wishing that one day He will bless me with the opportunity to share those moments with this heart and new person in me with the new person in him, but God's got it. He knows what He is doing and it is not my worry or concern to know or care. I just know He has a better plan than I can imagine, and He knows how to love on me and knows what I need-- so why not let him fulfill those?

I have been set free from chains I didn't know existed. I have changed. And I can only hope tomorrow more chains are gone and I am changed for the better. Each day I have an opportuity to love our Savior and for Him to love me. Wow! How can that not make me better? I have experianced love that was not true and still had a joy that overflowed.... and now to think about THIS love.... overflow is such an understatement!!!!!

Psalm 118:23-24

"This is the Lord's doing, and it is marvelous to see.

This is the day the Lord has made

We will rejoice and be GLAD in it."

Psalm 117

"Praise the Lord, all you nations,

Praise Him, all you people of the earth.

For he loves us with unfailing love,

the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever.

PRAISE THE LORD!"