The real kind

I have been:
... Lied to
... Cheated on
... Disrespected
... A secret
... Belittled
... Embarrassed
... Disregarded
... Undermined
... Convenient
... Made a fool
... Tricked
... and Taken advantage of
all for the name of love.

But in these trials, I realize love in true form has nothing to do with anything I have gone through for the sake of it all. Love, does not do these actions, rather it does most exactly opposite of these things. And in the process of understanding these things, I have come to understand that I have cheated myself from many beauties in life. I have almost inadvertently done these things to myself by believing it was love that took me through those things.
So as I look at a promise etched in silver, i understand it is my choice to take the words "i love you" and understand their true meaning... And the only true origin is in the shadow of His wings. He may not be flesh and bone, nor is Jesus Christ my future other half... Yet, He should always be my All.
I drifted from this truth in my life wanting to believe that the true love He has promised me was what I had. I couldn't have been more distant from the truth, its almost humorous to think looking back.
All I know is that the love I believe in to be true is not the love I had to believe in to be true.... It already exists, it's there. I do not have to make excuses for it, I don't have to prove myself for it, I don't have to hide my feelings from it, I don't have to hope for it.... It's there.

And whenever it is that I will be blessed to share that love with someone who knows that kind of love, I will fully embrace it and know how much of a blessing it is because I have experienced the opposite and know its snarls. One day, I will still laugh at the thought that I believed it was okay to feel that way in "love" because someone one day will show me the opposite of all of that and let me experience love, the real kind.

What I now see in this gift from the not love, love :
"I love you, the Real kind" - God

And by the way, never assume that when you tell someone you love them, it means only love. For love itself encompasses so many actions, love is more of a plurality than a single action. So if you love someone, love them with all of the things that go into love, not just with the word love.