The fall cannot last forever

Well I jumped from the plane... only to wonder if this parachute will deploy or if there is a soft landing somewhere. I've done quite a bit of crazy things in my life, but this one takes the cake. I have never quite felt so.... so... confused. Am I doing what is right? Did I jump for the wrong reasons?
Only time will tell.

Until that time I know a few things are certain....
- the wind in my hair feels amazing
-I know that if I land softly or not that my god and my girls will be there to bandage the wounds and asses the damage.
-I will learn something from this, all of this.

I always learn from confusion, from heartache, from battles I do not win... it's my life. I don't think I can tell you one time in which I learned things the easy way or even thought about going the easy way in life. My parents can vouch for that. I am one of those people who does things the hard way... and sometiems that is to my advantage because through the hard way I learn things that some people never really understand their whole life. It's one of those cursed blessings I suppose. It would be harder if I haven't grasped that fact, it would be worse if I believed that I really did do things the easy way and it always just ended up hard... but not I. I know for a fact how I live... God made me stubborn, and sometimes it is the very thing that pulls me away from Him. My pride in my stubbornness jolts me towards myself and not my King. It's a battle I face every moment of every day. It makes me stronger and wears me out...

We are about to begin a new study by Beth Moore... Breaking Free is the name of it. I am scared to death of the ways He is about to confront me and break me, yet I know it is going to be amazing. We, my girls and I, are doing this together, so I know that we will be able to keep each other accountable and be in the refining flames together.
I guess this is a part of me jumping from the plane, there were so many ways I jumped when I jumped... so many things I was jumping from and towards when I jumped. I felt freedom when I jumped, it was the scariest thing I have done in a while, yet it gave me the greatest rush of adrenaline i've ever experienced. It was a rush of knowing I did it and being proud while being completely overwhelmed by fear.

Time.
Give it time... the fall cannot last forever.