High School Darby does not = Current Darby... yay!

Life changes, people change....

you learn more about yourself each day you're on this earth... you learn what you want from yourself, from friends; you learn what you don't want and what you can't compromise on; you learn what dreams can become reality and the what dreams you will keep dreaming about; you learn about family and love, the upsides and downsides of both; you'll learn about your heart, how it mends and flutters anew....

Today sitting here at my dearly beloved front desk of my dear hotel, I'm thinking back on all the things I've hoped for, all the ways I've changed throughout my life, the love lossed and gained, the bruises and blisters from walking down the path I've chosen and all the detours I've taken along the way. There are things that I cannot believe I dreamt of and things I never though I would want to dream about that I dream of today. Some things that I swore would be me forever and now are no part of me.

It's really interesting to do look back on my life from where I am standing today, to see my life and the road (ever winding as it may be) behind me. It's especially interesting to see where I've come from and who I am today. There is so much in my life that someone who knew me 6 years ago would be surprised about, so much about who I am that the Darby from high school wouldn't recognize. This is not to be said that I am not the same Darby in my core, but it is to say that life changes people, and I am one of those people that was changed for the better (especially considering circumstances).

Great Blog You Must Read

"As I listened to the voice of this cowboy, this isolated cowboy who hadn’t had the slightest problem picking up the phone to say, “I miss you,” I shuddered at how long I’d allowed myself to go without it. And the effect it was having on every cell of my body made me realize just how fundamental a human need it really is. "

-http://thepioneerwoman.com/blog/category/black_heelstractor_wheels/the_night_i_met_marlboro_man/

Read it. All of it.


(( THANKS BROOKE!!))

"Hi. Can you be my cowboy and I'll be that goofy girl by your side? Ok. Thanks....."- Me

"I think I can do that honey."- Mr. Ely

Alright. So my heart is slowly but surely fluttering away.

After you read that pioneer woman's love story, you may get a glimpse of how I feel with this hunky cowboy suddenly walking into my life..... maybe I didn't have plans to go to Chicago [ Georgia Yes ], and maybe I wasn't from USC.... but I believe that if you've never dated a cowboy, and when one walks in your life like Mr. Ely has mine, and like her Marborlo Man did in her life..... then you'll understand.

I'm gonna shut up now before I get in trouble.

So sometimes in life you reach that point where you know what you want, what you can't deny that something is suppose to be in your life, when you realize that you're headed in the right direction and your future can't get here fast enough......

That point is somewhat frustrating if you're someone like me. That point is present and real in life, yet you have to wait on it for it to actually happen. I have faith in my God who promises good to me, who promises to be faithful to me.... and I hold tightly to that. Never in my life have I felt so assuredly that I was going the right way, that the steps that I feel that I am taking, and the steps He is carrying me in, are leading me to a place that I am suppose to be that is full of hope and joy. It's comforting, it's exciting, it's refreshing, and it's sweet....

Yet ....it is very annoying.

Yes I said it, I said something negative about this situation. Get over it. In the midst of being so happy about where I am headed and what I see to be true in my life.... I have never felt so impatient. Now, my parents may tell you a different story, but I never have had this sense of urgency with my life. I want those things to happen RIGHT NOW. Not that I am not completley enjoying and loving my life at the moment, but there are things that I just wish I didn't know now about the future. Does that make any sense? I'd rather be surprised and be eager about finding out than knowing I have to sit and wait.

I know for a fact that this sounds absurd. I know that I sound so selfish complaining about this. And to be honest I am. It's frustrating me to know that I am being so selfish. Some people search all their lives for their "dream job", for the ones they can confide in no matter what, for a sense of worth and purpose.... and here I am lucky to have found those things thus far in my life. Don't get my wrong, I'm not saying things may not change, because if I know one thing in life is that you don't really know anything about life and that it is ever changing. Nor am I saying that I am not lucky, because I am . I am so thankful to feel that I have found my purpose, to know that I have found friends that are my soul mates. I am blessed beyond belief and I am reminded daily of this.

Yet, I am sitting here selfish because I don't have that dream job that is so close within my reach, I am sitting here selfish because I don't have the house on the hill overlooking miles of country with a family around me, I don't have that degree in my hand and that beautiful ring made of gold on my right hand...... *(breath)* Yet I see all of it sooooo closely, I feel that pull from the bottom of my heart jerking everytime I think about it, I feel that deep desire so urgently that it makes me impatient. It makes me want it now....

Makes me want to skip right on to it, to not worry to much about the here and now....

yet, the here and now is all I have.

HI GOD THANKS FOR USING MY OWN WORDS

TO MAKE ME REALIZE HOW DUMB I WAS BEING! I love it when You do that....

((sometimes it just takes me seeing how dumb I am using my own words for me to shut up. I am so blessed. Today was a blessing. Knowing that if those desires I have are all I get to experience, I'll be happy. "everything under the sun is meaningless"- ecclesiastes))

To all the women that have lived and learned:

I want to know those things that great women in your life have taught you....

I want to know all those great lessons you've learned through the years about life, love, friendships, hardships, cooking, cleaning, crying, laughing....

This may sound random or quirky, but think about all those things you've learned in your life, all the things that your grandma use to tell you off hand that you hold so dearly to your heart now... all those beautiful revelations about life that you realized in the middle of heartache or at the happiest moment in your life.

I ask this of you not to solely to be selfish so I can take it in and learn from all you have to say, but to ask you to share those things... don't keep them to yourself, no matter how precious they are.

I ask this of you because I recently found a box of my Grammie's recipes. Now, this may not seem like a big deal, but when you think that some of those recipes were lost forever, when you think that you may never taste the richness of her Real Mayonnaise Chocolate Cake or the kick of her special Picante Sauce..... when you think all of that is gone because Grammie isn't Grammie anymore... that box of recipes mean more than words can express. When i found this box and discovered what was in it, I broke down. I sobbed my eyes out.
I cried because I just wanted one more day in the kitchen with her, one more day of her sitting and telling me stories of things she use to do, one more day of us digging for worms to go fishing with.... just one more day to listen. I want that one day because all the days I had with her I was too young to realize the harsh reality that those days wouldn't last forever. I can never go back and retrieve those life lessons that she tried to tell me when I wasn't listening like I would listen now.


I not only ask you to share with me because I have realized the fleeting flash that is this life, but because I know you've lived through things I am going through, have been through, or will face before Jesus wants me Home. I want to hear your stories of how it felt to fall in love, when you realized you may just be dating the guy you will be with forever, how it felt to make your best friends and the ways you dealt with simply being a woman with other women, how you made those tough decisions in life, how you felt when your best friend moved away........ tips on how to keep a relationship going strong, any hints on figuring out how to stay organized and out of debt.....

So I ask you, women, to share things with me that are special to you, things that others taught you or you learned yourself. I ask you because I want to live a life that is full and abundant, that comes from having open ears to those people in my life right now.
I hate knowing that people like Debbie Adcock and Amanda Miller can no longer write me notes of encouragement, or that I can't cook breakfast with my Grammie anymore... but I am so blessed that I have people like you that I can still learn from and cherish.

((( So in the comment box, tell me your secret to life.... or if you don't feel comfortable doing that... write me an email : darbybarksdale@yahoo.com ))))

Nothing is ever out of question...

Have you ever had a moment in your life that you really had no clue how to react to it due to the mass chaos of thoughts/feelings/and emotions were rushing through your body?
Have you ever been presented with an opportunity that you never really thought would happen because that meant your dreams were actually coming true?
Have you ever been at a point in your life that you are staring at the door into your future but you were so stunned that it opened (kinda like a sliding door when you get too close) you don't realize it's really open for you to walk through?

Well.... if you have experienced any of those... welcome to my life in the past two days.
And add on top of that being completely overwhelmed by how much you are loved, cared for, cherished, and how much you mean to people....
These feelings are some of the most amazing and scary feelings I have ever experienced and I am experiencing them all at one time. Like a massive tital wave rushing over my body, but not one that damages, instead it's a tital wave of goodness. (if that is possible)

Now for the story, I'm sure you're just on your toes huh!?

So Monday, after a night of not sleeping at all and a full day of craziness during work, my manager and general manager called me into their office and sat me down. I was 100 percent positive they were about to fire me for some reason because of how serious they were being, but then my AGM told me I wasn't in trouble. Which, when you think something's wrong, and someone deny's the thoughts in your head, it sends me into more of a panic because I had ABSOLUTELY no clue what was going on.
So after a few awkward moments of silence, and grins... they told me that I had been referred to take the Assistant General Manager position that was coming up at one of our other properties in town.

I was completely blown away.

Then they kept going, saying that the owner of our whole company and one of the people at corporate that had quite a bit of pull had referred me....

FREAK OUT MOMENT!!

I was speechless.

Couldn't do anything but sit there and say "well..."

My thoughts were racing...

My heart was pounding, I don't know from excitement or fear... but it was pounding right out of my chest like the bass drum in a marching band!

So after gaining some composure, we sat for a minute and talked about what it would mean to me, what options I had, and where we went from there...

((If you aren't aware, I absolutely love the place I work. I opened this place, I love it. It's my baby... but at the same time, I have no upward movement here. I love the people I work for and with more than anything, but I also know my dream and what I want as a career----- to be in the hospitality industry and hopefully run a hotel.))

Quick recap:

I am a twenty year old Junior Human Resouuce and Development Major that was just offered to have an Assistant General Managment position within one of the best companies I've ever heard of, and the absolute best I have ever worked for.

And so.... I freak out.

I called my dad first.

Told him what was going on... and talked through some simple logistics of it.... and heard him say over and over again "Darby I'm just proud of you."

To hear my father tell me he is proud of

me is one of the most special things

he could ever say to me.

Then I called my best friend.... she was super excited for me. I was crying because I was so stunned still and couldn't believe that people think I can do something like this and want me to... She encouraged me and reminded me why I call her my best friend.

A best friend is one who knows what's

going on in your head without saying a word...

and she sure does. She knew what to say and how to say it.

She knew my fears and my excitement, she also knew my doubts.

love her.

Then I called my mother. She was super excited. Asked me what my hesitation was, which I honestly didn't know how to explain it at the moment....and told me that she wasn't surprised at all... and that maybe one day I'd believe in myself how others believed in me...

Mom knows best right?

So true.

Then I called my boyfriend... still freaking out about it all... he calmed my nerves. He puts things in perspective a lot because in his mind, things are simple. There is no need to be freaking out about your dreams and goals coming true, there is only reason to be happy and press on.

Mr. Ely just calms my restlessness in a mysterious way....

In the midst of all of this, I still had school... so I went to school. And in the midst of my professor talking about the marketing system and so on.... I finally caught my breath.

On my way home, after talking to my brother as well and a few other important people in my life.... I smiled. I had just been offered an amazing opportunity. And not only that, there were so many people in my life that were supporting my excitement, my concerns, and my goals. I was being showered with prayers from my prayer warriors already and I had already felt His presence in this time of my life.

No matter what happens, no matter the outcome of this... I have really discovered how much people believe in me. I am so blessed and so lucky to have people around me that, no matter how surprised I was by being offered something like this, they weren't. They believe in me. They see my goals and don't doubt me being able to obtain them.

I am so blessed.

And then ontop of all of this, God is showering love on me. I haven't been as happy as I am in this moment in a very long time. My girls are my world, every day I am reminded of how special they are to me because it's weird going 2 hours without being in contact with them. My relationship with Mr. Ely is one of surprises and smiles. Every time I am with him, I can't help but smile and just be happy he's in my life no matter how much he picks on me because in the end he always smiles back and calls me 'cutie'. I get to talk to my mom daily, she's become a texter which makes it a bit easier to communicate. It's great. I love it. We actualy talked on the phone the other night for like 30 minutes and didn't once get upset at one another. It was so great. It's neat to see how things change as you grow up.

So, as usual, I shall keep you updated... whoever YOU are....

And as for now, I want that job. I want to take my goal and make it mine. I'm ready to face it. So after I speak with Hunter and Cathie (owner and manager), I will know more of what they want from me and if I can do it.

Who knows what may happen!

Never ever believe that something is out of reach at any point in life, because you never know how much God stretches His arm out to pull it closer within your reach.