I've realized that I am a very interesting person.
Yes, I said it.
Interesting as in if I had put paint on my shoes from the day I was born and looked on the map where I have been, it would be the most crazy jig-jag path you've ever scene.
This whole thing comes from the other day when I was home, Ma had bought me this new cute spring dress that I can wear with my new boots. So on Sunday, I wore the dress with my beautiful Old Gringo boots and fit the part of a true Dixie Queen. That dress and those boots fit perfect with who I am today...
So at lunch Ma asks the grand ole question...
"Darby, if I would have told you five years ago that you would be sitting at lunch in cowboy boots and a dress you would have laughed in my face, wouldn't you?"I laughed it off and said that I wouldn't have laughed, that I've always had this country girl in me... because truthfully I have, but she was probably right.
Five years ago I was a very different person, yeah I still went to the rodeo's at home, yes I still listened to some country now and then... I mean I grew up in East Texas... but I was not who I am now.
Who I am now is some crazy red headed girl who poses as a grown up sometimes, who has been through hell a few times but made it through. I am in love with anything that stands for Texas and country, except tu. Who I am is not defined by the bad choices I've made, or even the good ones, it's the lessons I learned through them that make up the Darby I know today.
It makes me laugh to think of all the parts of me that make up my whole being. There are days where I can pull of the young professional without a hitch, have people think I'm 6 years older than I am, shake hands with people that make more than I do in one hour, dress up to go to socials with the professionals, drink wine with my pinky out and love every second... but then the moment I get home, I put my boots on my feet, put on my torn up and worn in jeans with my tshirt, blast my newest favorite hidden music treasure and make a mean meal. I live in two worlds seamlessly at times. Sometimes, I get to work at 8 am go through my day, answer the phones, walk around in my high heels then when leaving time comes I put my jeans and boots on, walk out the door and right into the venue of the night for one of my favorite times on earth: live music and dancing.
Thinking about all of this just brings the biggest smile to my face. I love it. I would have never imagined I would be who I am today, so diverse yet so simple when you get down to the roots. After all, aren't we always pretty simple at our roots, its our flowers and limbs that give us the ability to reach so far into different worlds.
People sometimes bore me that are so stuck in their own ways that they have been in for years, listening to the same song, eating the same foods, driving the same way home... where is the adventure in that?
After a few years here at this beautiful place and a year of being a bit boring myself, I had an experience that has altered my life: an adventure.
I decided to let myself always try something new, to let go of my 'how to' book and just go with things.
Part of this started on a drive to my hometown... I just decided to take the backroads, get lost a little, find a new way home... and it was beautiful. I saw parts of this place (now my home) that I fell in love with... I started just listening to different music, new artists, some good some bad. I made up a rule for myself about food: always try something new, and if I had tried a food before and not liked it, every year I had to try it again to see if maybe I could enjoy it.
Then I had mentioned to a friend that I was not much of a beer drinker... he gasped, then gave me a big grin and said that he was going to help me enjoy beer. I tried desperately to explain to him that even the smell of it made me gag because when I was younger my brother and I would pick up the aluminum cans around town, well one place served beer in a can... just imagine that sitting in a trash can for a week or so= NASTY!! Well, he gave me a method to try beer so that I would enjoy it.... and as most of you know, it worked.
You never really know what you can like if you give it a chance, you never know who you will become if you don't try to just live to the fullest and experience all life can give you. . . The person I am today, the people I love in my life, the things I love in life, even the things that I loved and loss, the crappy experiences, the painful tears... they all came through adventures I decided to go on one day and now make up my everything that makes me who I am.
So, Ma, you're right, five years ago I would have never guessed I would have been sitting at lunch with you in boots and a dress, but I would never would have guessed I would have ever be where I am and so happy with who I am today. I am full of a whole bunch of different things that add up to who I am... I am who I am. In the words of a dear friend
" if Darby was a painting, she would be a Jackson Pollock. Majestic colors, amazing motion, no two inches the same and all in all awesome."
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