...love like crazy...

Change.
The one thing in life that is guaranteed: Change.
The one thing I don't really do well with when it comes to people I love....

Change.


All of this to say, as I have grown up a bit more over the past few years and been further from family than I was for eighteen years, I struggle sometimes with change....
There are times that I break down and cry because I miss people so much.
Life is never constant, people come in and out of peoples lives, people are called Home early and not according to my plan.... life pushes and pulls people together and apart. Looking back on life is the only way to remember some people because you'll never have future moments with them...
For instance:
I desperately miss my grandparents. Over the past year or so I have had an ache in me, a pain deep in my soul stemming from regret of not listening closer, of not realizing how quickly things were going to change and never be the same. I can't get Pawpaw back to ask him about my beloved Texas A&M University while he was here.... I can't be with Grammie in her kitchen ever again for her to teach me one more time how to make her special cakes and breakfast... I can't spend enough time with Memaw or Papaw because they are so far away and being on the phone with them is too hard because it reminds me of how much I just want to sit and be with them.
And yes, dear dad, I understand that's part of life and I have to get over it.... but you see, my heart is not understanding the things my mind knows about life.
But here's the good things that I remember and will never forget:

• All those times Grammie and Papaw and I would go fishing and we'd wake up super early to dig for worms then be out on the lake for most of the day. I will never be able to bait my hook and not remember Grammies hands or Papaw making fun of my baby fish I always seemed to catch on my first cast. I now have a deep respect for fishing, not because I like the sport, but because of all the memories that flood me when I have a pole in my hand and water ahead of me. I will carry those with me til the day I die, and pray that I get to share that same respect with my children and grandchildren to come.
  
• That Southern Baptist preachers have the best jokes and strongest voices. Although i was only six, the day that my grandfather baptised me will be very special to me. I don't remember many things from that day other than walking down in to the water and my Pawpaw grabbing my hand so gently yet so firmly so that it was forever etched in the palm of my hand along with my heart. There's alot about Jerry Dawson that I didn't get to know, alot that I wished I could say that I knew well, but I do know that he changed people by being in their life, me being one of them.
  
• My heartaches wern't the first and certainly won't be the last, and it's best if you listen to the women in your life because they know pretty well how it feels, especially if they have your same blood..... My beloved grandmother and mother have been two of my confidants and cheerleaders as I have made my way into the tough part of being a woman. They have showed me how to love, how to be friends, how to fight for what you believe in, and how most of all Jesus Christ is the only man that will never break my heart, even in the smallest ways. As I have gotten older, I realize how their advice has helped me and they usually are the first to know about any of my heartaches... spending time with just the three of us is some of my favorite times, even if we do fuss at each other.
  

There are times I wish I could go back and just record every little thing that people tell me so that I won't forget, times where I wish I could go back and just take a picture of one moment so it would never fade from my memory.... but I can't really do that. So my mission now, through the heartbreak of knowing the painful truths of life, is to live fully soaking up each little thing with every person in my life. To honor those I miss by carrying on the things I do remember about them in my daily life and to live my heart out so that those around me will never question how I feel about them or how much they mean to me.

So here goes nothing... living this life and loving like crazy........

They called them crazy when they started out
Said seventeen's too young to know what loves about
They've been together fifty-eight years now
That’s crazy

He brought home sixty-seven bucks a week
He bought a little 2 bedroom house on Maple Street
Where she blessed him with six more mouths to feed
Yea that’s crazy

Just ask him how he did it; he'll say pull up a seat
It'll only take a minute, to tell you everything
Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I Love You
Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common since
Never let your prayin' knees get lazy
And love like crazy

They called him crazy when he quit his job
Said them home computers, boy they'll never take off
He sold his one man shop to Microsoft
They paid like crazy

Just ask him how he made it
He'll tell you faith and sweat
And the heart of a faithful woman,
Who never let him forget

Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I Love You
Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common since
Never let your prayin knees get lazy
And love like crazy

Always treat your woman like a lady
Never get to old to call her baby
Never let your prayin knees get lazy
And love like crazy

They called him crazy when they started out
They've been together fifty-eight years now

Aint that crazy?

Lee Brice, Love like Crazy