Oh November, how I love thee

I absolutely love the month of November... why? No clue. It is the essence of fall, the symbol of changing seasons, and well it's just plain BEAUTIFUL!
I haven't written anything in a while, not because I haven't had anything to write, but that I wanted to deal with things with the Lord, and try to get things straight. I have learned a lot about how He heals a heart and turns life around to show His greatness and glory! Lately I have been so obsessed with His beauty surrounding me everything else doesn't matter. All the things in my life that I wish i could change, that aren't just "perfect" or that others can't shut up about... well I am not really noticing them because I can't get my head around how AWESOME God really is and His beauty that He shows me every morning and how much I DO NOT deserve to see any of it! ((but am very greatful that I get to !)) It seems like as soon as I get frustrated about something, or start thinking about possible negatives in my life, I realize how good things really are. God has lead me to this place in my life where He is loving on me and I am loving Him, where I am being taught by Him in ways that are so majestic and mysterious, this place that I just want to know more, a place where I am so incredibly excited about HIS plan for my life that I seem to not even have one... This place of beauty and joy. Not "happiness", but JOY. Joy is so much deeper than happiness, it bubbles up inside of you and burst out in the form of happiness, or just in the form of contentness in a storm. Joy overcomes the every day bumps that just happiness alone cannot get you, it comes from the peace and clarity of knowing that my God, my Jesus is in control and has a plan for my life, and also that He (the king of the universe) LOVES me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Also something interesting:
He is showing me reasons for the pain that I have felt over the past 4 months.... He is giving me an opportuinty to glorify Him and witness to someone that is going through heartache and heart break. I hate that for this person, but also am so thankful that I can look her in the eyes and say " I understand". My heart breaks all over again for her as I remember the tears and the physical sick feeling of a broken heart.... but I have joy in that because look at where I am now! Look at just what He is doing in my life, look at how He is healing me, i mean just look at this past month! ! ! By no means am I "over it", but boy howdy I am getting there. I don't cry anymore!! (( yes! I said it!! )) The last time I cried over it was 3 weekends ago when I faced the fear of losing my job due to the status of Daniel and I being on "who is that person?" terms.... I cried because I was tired of crying over him, tired of hurting, and ready to be done with it. ! ( YAY ) I am done with it! I have forgiven Daniel and given it to the Lord. I am no longer angry at him nor do I wish evil things on him. (I promise!)
For real, I think I am going great. I have some really awesome friends that make me smile a whole lot, I have a God who is good to me and provides, I have a family that I love and that makes me laugh alot, and above all of that, I am here, breathing, and having the opportunity to do something great for Jesus...
I am ready for whatever life throws at me during this beautiful month. I am hoping that it will be great because i Love this month! and because I am hoping to be on track with where God wants me to be.
November will bring lots of change in my life, and i am not just talking about the leaves on the trees here in college station, I am talking about change. I just really believe that, am praying for that, and am asking you to do the same. Pray that He will continue to rock my world and that I will be obediant to what He wants from me, to not seek things because it is cool or my flesh desires it, but to seek His will and only His will.
I know this was kinda crazy and everywhere, but it's late, and I have been restless (in a good way) for like 3 days... this joy in my soul is spewing! ! !