God Bless the Crash Landings

Unleash your Joy.

Embrace Your Truth.

Pick more wild flowers.

Leap Fearlessly.

Collect moments of Kindness.

Ask for what you Need.

Speak of your Gratitude.

Listen to Forgiveness.

Surround yourself with Good People.

Trust your Creative Spirit.

Wear Red Shoes.

Let it Go.

Don't we all need to do that.

All of that.

I want to have this in my house to remind me of life and what it's about.

In the midst of this crazy life, somewhere through all the hidden bombs going off, there is a peace. I can only imagine what the sound of a bomb is up close... and that piercing silence that comes when you are too close... That scary sensory numbing silence that is the aftermath of destruction... I think sometimes our hearts feel that. Because in that silence, it protects you from the crashing noices and screams from the victims.... there is that peace, that silence that all you can do is survive it and take one step at a time. Forward. Forward to safety, forward out of danger and away from devestation.

I know that may be a bit gruesome, but if you really think about a time in your life where bombs went off and caught you off guard... there was that peace. That beautiful peace that the Lord provides so that you can keep walking and go to our Safety in Him.

Life is crazy. You know that song "... I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, aweful beautiful life..." ? It's so true. Life is crazy in its tragedies and in it's victories. Magic seems to be just a arms distance away, and the beauty in life is awefully confused sometimes. Lately, it seems like in the midst of one of the best summers ever, I, and my girls, have also had some crazy things go on. One of my best friends said in perfectly the other night "It's like this is the best summer of my life with the worst possible scenarios going on". And how true that is.

I want to take every day for what it's worth. I'm tired of being excited about the future here on Earth. The only promise I have is in Him. The only future that is certain is my eternity. That's all we all have, really. Those things we believe are so certain in life are fragile and welcome to destruction. Those days where you feel like you have finally found that new wind that is strong enough to lift your wings are only fading. So take them as we may. Fly a little, but land softly. After a few crash landings, you find your way.

I've found my technique to land smoothly. I wish I didn't have to land at all, to be honest. Not so that I could just fly through life, because even in the air there are obstacles, but so that I didn't have to dream about flying so much. One day I keep telling myself, one day. But until that day, I will enjoy the gusts of air, the beauty of taking off and landing softly. And you see, this has come in handy. Because once you have crashed and burned a few times, you know exactly how to help those around you who suddenly fall and crash into this not so comfortable thing we call life. I know all too well the wounds that this ground leaves. I'm here for those who fall, and while we are all here we can enjoy ourselves and unleash our joy into the wind so that maybe all together we can create a gust of wind that pushes us up and onward a little more.

God Bless this crazy, tragic. Somtimes almost magic, aweful beautiful life...

...and God Bless the crash landings.

years and distance will not keep me from the memories we've made.

Life.
Wow.
Crazy.

Sometimes when you are at your lowest, that's when things surprise you and lift your spirits. I know not everything is right, and things are still on the upward swing.... but man, things are good. When I think of the past month there are a few words that stick out to me : laughter, memories, and friends.
I have been blessed with some crazy girls that are helping to make this summer one of the best in my life. After the summer I had last year, I came into this one with the thought that nothing could be worse than before, so no matter what happened, it'd be good. But let me tell you, it's more than good, it's great. I can give credit to my friends for making this true. I think that not one night goes by that we are not together, not one week that we do not watch a movie, not one hour we spend together that does not incorporate laughter that makes your stomach hurt. These friends are so precious. Each beautiful and unique, but when put together we all mesh into this big pot of awesomeness. The trials I face are nothing because I know I have to support and prayers of those friends.
Just to brag a little bit:
last week I was sick. I had felt bad for days and was getting a little concerned due to my condition. The whole time, I never once was alone. I had someone with me just to watch movies or try to keep my mind off of it. I felt so loved. When it came time for me to make the decision to go get some medical attention (don't recommend it, it helped nothing! ugh haha ) my friends were there to keep my mind off of things and make fun of me. Even though I know taking four hours out of your night to sit in a nasty hosptial is no where close to an ideal night with friends, but they were there. And if they weren't there in person, they were texting me constantly checkin up on me.
Or when I had to write a 10 page paper in a very very limited amount of time.... these people were helping me as much as possible... finding sources, editing my paper.... staying up with me to make sure I got it done...
Who deserves this? What did I do to be so blessed with friends like this? It is something I have always wanted, but never really thought it was real. But it is. The bond we share as friends is something that is rooted in an eternal love that binds us stronger than any other force. I know I can call on any one of them to talk to about something serious or just text them a funny quote from a movie we saw and know that we both were dying laughing no matter where we are.
These people are so special. Some I just met, some I've known for a while.... all I would do anything for in a heart beat. They have blessed me in more ways than they know. These are the people I will keep in touch with no matter what, years and distance will not keep me from the memories we've made.

:)

Perfect....

I have decided that country songs are just as bad as romantic movies. Lame!
They simply make me want that warm fuzzy feeling I once had, then I quickly remember the lies that were involved in that warm fuzzy feeling and then I get all upset and funky. I just want another chance to have a fun warm fuzzy without the pain at the end of it. It might be a while til that happens, I am aware... but man... it's everywhere around me but inside of me.
I am starting to wonder if I am that girl who screws it up for herself... ya know?
anyways...
country songs = bad news bears . . . but they are sooo good!
Story of My life.
ha ha

"The trouble with romance is takin your chances in the desperation of a downtown night... if you're lookin for a little affection, don't go waiting for the timing to be right." - Desperation by Micky and the Motorcars

I mean, will someone PLEASE tell me what this means!

Alright, so some things lately have interested me and confused me a lot.....

1. "You need to make yourself more available"

Let's just be honest here... maybe every other girl my age would be perfectly fine with this statment being said to her multiple times, and maybe I am just the odd one, because lets face it... I usually am the person to break all the "Normal" rules of how things are. Lets run through the reasons why this put a bit of a spur in my saddle:

1. The context of this questsion might just not help the actual line out much at all. It always comes when I am speaking of a person of the opposite sex in ANY context. . . and then BAM! It happens. The end all be all. The statement hits the person talking to me like the best apiphany they ever had. The answer to all my problems. Badda Bing Badda Boom. "Darby needs to catch that guy." Ergo Darby hears " You need to make yourself more available for guys."
   For real! Someone tell me what that is suppose to mean? Are they implying I should just throw myself on guys?? I'm sure they aren't and mean it in the best way possbile. . . but it bugs me for a few reasons.... Do they not think that I am doing fine in my singleness? Yes, I would love to not be so single, but at the time, that's not the top of my list to solve. After all the crap I went through in my last relationship, I am in no rush to have the possiblity of getting my heart torn apart again. Plus, I desperately desire to be persuded. To be Wanted. Saught after. And I realize that only happens in the movies or my dreams... but I also do not feel like it is a girls place to pursue a guy. If a guy finds me attractive or wants to see if there is something more in a friendship, I think that he should grow some and do that. Be a man. I'm tired of dating non-mans boys. I do not want to date someone who doens't have the gonads to pursue me. Dumb. So I will just wait. I will wait and have fun with friends, love life, and live the life I should. :)

k. cool.

Blessed

Lately in the midst of being completely overwhelmed by life in general and all the responsibilities I have gotten myself into, I have found an overwhelming sense of joy. I am so blessed. There are friends that I have that I would do anything for, friends old and new that are becoming closer. He is breaking down walls around my heart so that I can be more authentic with those whom I am close to.
In the midst of the craziness of each day, I have yet to find myself feeling lonely or alone in my struggles and victories. I feel like the bonds that are being made are lasting and true. A feeling that scares the crap outta me because usually as soon as I get that feeling, I screw up in some way. But the beauty of the fall of humanity, is that no one is perfect... things happen, but in Christ, in His body, we are all connected, we are all family, eternally. And through His love, we can forgive and love even more than we could imagine so that our friendships are deeper, lasting, and genuine if our friendships are rooted in Him. It's beautiful!!!

Man, He is good.
He has blessed me with an amazing family that I would never EVER trade, friendships that touch my heart and make it smile, new adventures, passions and responsibilities that will shape and define my future, long talks with the best friends ever, the past that has taught me who I am and given me the opportunity to embrace the newness of today, and most of all, His Word to direct my life and dig deep into so that I can know Him more. Gollee! Even through really confusing times, He shows me that He loves me and is in control. It's wonderful.

I am so excited about what this next year holds in my life and the lives of people close to me. Two of my best friends are embarking on the most exciting time in their lives.... MARRIAGE! I am so blessed to be able to be a part in this ohh so exciting time in their lives not only as a friend to help with all the stress of it, but as someone who is watching as two lives join together who are completely and totally in love and who also love the Lord. :) Next year at this time I will know two amazing Mrs. Lairds, one awesome Mrs. Hayes-Vargas, and two boys that have turned into men (( hopefully ;) )). For my life, this next year is full of events and adventures. Between Hospitality and the BSM I get the opportunity to lead in different aspects and venues. This time next year, I will be closing in on my last spring semester here at Texas A&M.... wow. The next 52 weeks will hold excitement, stress, and challenges that I cannot yet comprehend, but I do know that no matter what, He is in control and delights in every detail of my life.

How refreshing!!!!
Praise the Lord, for He is GOOD.